Issue III: One Rawdog, Hold the Relish
Why are my romance novels being so weird about contraception?
I’ve had the profound pleasure of being part of a romance novel book club for almost a year now, and while I love the genre, I’ve noticed an interesting trend: do cishet people have a problem with condoms?
Duh. I knew that already. But there’s often a big moment where the characters, as a declaration of devotion, stop to say let’s ditch the rubbers. It’s certainly reflective of modern romantic realities but also so jarring to read in books that are usually not very in touch with reality. It’s like the narrator needs to justify their choices in case their gynecologist is reading. What does this say about the heterosexual community’s relationship to safe sex practices that eschewing them is how you show your rival baker/busty flight attendant/surly ranch-hand that you truly trust them now? What happened to the Golden Rule- no glove, no love?
^ I got more sex ed in this Glee episode than my high school so please reference if needed.
Is this a sign of a public health crisis? Maybe not. A lot of these authors make a point of conscious deliberation before stopping the papa stoppers, which shows they understand the risks involved. Let’s study some examples and see what we find.
Methodology:
Going through all my ebooks and hitting Ctrl+F “condom.”
Case Studies:
1) The Idea of You by Robinne Lee
Point of Rawdog: Chapter 7- 43% in
This is a big plot point in this May-December romance, coming soon to streaming. The boyband star, Hayes, is very twenty-year-old about condoms and tries to pressure his older lover, Solène, with the usual lines, but she is not having it! In the words of Holly Holliday, Solène knows she’s having sex with everyone this Harry-Styles-circa-2014-analogue is having sex with. That is, until Haye has absolutely sworn to be exclusive, and then they’re serving sashimi on her dining room table. They establish she is on the pill, and he and his boyband are tested regularly for insurance purposes (some hero please ask someone from One Direction if this is based in reality).
2) Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey
Point of Rawdog: Chapter 14 - 44% in
THEY ARE READY TO RAW THE FIRST TIME THEY HAVE SEX. Beat and Melody (yes, those are their names) imprinted* hard when they were like 13 and then don’t see each other for 10 years until they agree to do a reality show together. I think this is the third time they’ve met ever, and he invites her to stay at his apartment to avoid paparazzi because he is immediately, incredibly protective over her. BUT Beat can only get off if he’s been edged for hours so he does not actually finish that time. This is the only time condoms are mentioned so let’s just assume they’re rawing it for the entire rest of the book once he discovers he can orgasm with the power of love.
*Imprint Logic is a trope I coined to describe when a reader must accept that the main couple is just ready for full monogamous commitment at first sight. When the attraction is immediately so strong that you know only death could part you, it’s not illogical to quit your job or rawdog on your first date.
See below:
Point of Rawdog: Chapter 16 - 76% in
This is three-quarters through the book, but these characters have known each other for half a week (okay, they were childhood friends but known each other as adults for four days and the imprint held up). It is an accident. They realize they forgot a condom because it feels even more amazing than the other 50 times they did it in the last 96 hours. But he finishes inside her anyway after she reminds him that she’s on the pill. It’s almost always the pill, rarely a more effective method of birth control. The woman quits her journalism career to be his live-in girlfriend in the epilogue so maybe getting pregnant was part of her long game.
4) Done and Dusted by Lyla Sage
Point of Rawdog: Chapter 16 - 58% in
This couple has been seeing each other for hmmm at least a long weekend, if I remember correctly, but this is another case of imprint logic. Points for having our heroine have an IUD though and both mentioning recent STD testing. Honestly surprising given how much this book romanticizes living in a red state. Another reason we need pro-choice legislation- so you can bareback the local saloon owner after moving back to your small town following your horse-riding accident.
Point of Rawdog: Chapter 31 - 55% in
“Condoms were quickly abandoned when I told him I was on the pill,” is the only aside we get, but there still is an aside. The flight attendant and NHL player have been dating for a little while and quickly got serious. And look, these books are fantasies, I can fantasize they both take proper care of their sexual health but it’s left off the page to not ruin the mood. I’m only bringing it up because these books ALWAYS DO. Why mention the absence of condoms at all if the fantasy you’re constructing doesn’t include them? If a condom is quickly abandoned, but no one is around to read about it, can you still get chlamydia?
Conclusions:
Writing a romance novel means an author must weigh fantasy vs. reality. While some readers will not be able to turn off thinking about the risks of unprotected sex and that will take them out of a scene, condoms are simply not in a lot of people’s fantasies. It’s the same reason why many of these protagonists have undemanding jobs (so they can use their ample PTO for sex) or are marrying very wealthy men (so they can quit their jobs and have sex all the time).
We will monitor how this trend changes as more books are released in a post-Roe v. Wade world. I genuinely wonder how an author’s access to contraception would change how they write these. Like maybe you want to set your fantasy in 2024 Arizona, but even after imprinting on her Grand Canyon tour guide, your heroine knows his income cannot support a child and says they must continue to use condoms (which are made out of mule intestines there, I presume).
Also, I enjoyed all of the above books, and I think The Idea of You is a masterpiece.
good reads:
Jewish Currents | Craft Talk by Fargo Nissim Tbakhi
I don’t want to break up this beautiful poem, but know I read it before I went to bed and woke up with the words still circling in my brain.
Vulture | The Coiled Ferocity of Zendaya by Matt Zoller Seitz
Modern audiences have become so fixated on every element of a character matching who the actor is that in some ways we’ve lost the understanding of what stardom can mean, and allow for. When you love somebody and feel with them, you tend to rationalize away what doesn’t work.
The Cut | The Woman Who Ate Eric Adams for Breakfast | Interview with Olayemi Olurin
The mayor, so used to deploying charisma or bluster to evade criticism, instead stuttered, squirmed in his chair, and turned his back on Olurin to face the show’s hosts. “You would realize how I turned the city around if you follow everything I do,” Adams told Olurin. “I would say ‘no,’ but we can get to that,” she snapped back.
SEEN/READ
04/12 The Sentence
04/13 THE TASTE OF THINGS
04/14 The Sentence, NORTH BY NORTHWEST, Hamlet
04/15 There’s Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension
04/16 There’s Always This Year
04/17 STRANGE WAY OF LIFE*, 30 F0R 30: THE FAB FIVE
04/18 There’s Always This Year
letter to the editor - issue ii
Dear Gabby,
Is there any way we can see how many degrees of separation China Anne McClain is from The Juice?
Best,
Robert Kardashian’s Hologram
Hi Rob!
Thanks for asking! The Juice (RIP) did have an acting career (but only until 1994 for some reason), and his last role was actually on a Disney Channel show called Adventures in Wonderland. The never-aired episode is called “White Rabbits Can’t Jump”, and OJ plays himself.
So what’s OJ’s China number? Wesley Mann played Caterpillar on that show and then later played the spitting principal on That’s So Raven. Raven-Symoné was in the Duck Tales music video with China, giving OJ a China number of 3.
Now, if you want to get technical and only do TV and movies- Wesley Mann also appeared on Liv & Maddie with Dove Cameron who did the Descendants films with China so we still arrive at 3.
Stay loose!
Gabby
P.S. Highly recommend the Defunctland episode on Adventures in Wonderland for more background on this program
This was really funny!! Can’t wait to see what you share next. Question- Where can one submit a letter to the editor anonymously?