17. Zip-a-dee-CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! GET ME AN NG TUBE!
what words go together better than "magic kingdom" and "trauma surgeon"
“You’ve finished Grey’s Anatomy. What did you think?” Like a deer in the road, those words suddenly hit me Tuesday night. Though not exactly accurate-Season 20 is not on Canadian Netflix- it still shocked me to be on the other side of 18,060 minutes with this show. I only started a couple years ago, and I was deeply hooked for the first ten-ish seasons. Like many fans, my interest dropped when Sandra Oh left, but I still kept letting episode after episode play. The procedural never becomes unwatchable with its familiar rhythm of surgeries and monologues. For every ebb of interest (whenever Owen is on screen), there will soon enough be a new relationship or storyline that reels back in my investment. Old-school shows that can be passively consumed is something that audiences lowkey crave right now. Look at the surprisingly massive viewership of traditional shows like Young Sheldon and Suits. I especially like to turn Grey’s on in the background when I’m writing. If I ever publish a book that happens to include both bunk bed sex and a train wreck, don’t ask questions.
Grey’s has always been on ABC and ergo owned by The Mouse, but it seems it was only a few seasons ago that either the writers got a hint from corporate or something was unlocked for the clearance coordinator because Disney references became so frequent. Once I started noticing them, I couldn’t stop. Like the Kardashians, Grey’s morphed into a show about people having kids, and those kids are always talking about Disney-owned IP. A little pedestrian for the children of surgeons, no?
I’m not a big fan of the Rat, but I actually don’t think we’re going far enough with this corporate synergy. Grey’s is VIP IP for them and should be treated like such! It has an interconnected cinematic universe like Marvel, but unlike them, their heroes actually fuck! And only the GCU has six time Tony Award winner Audra McDonald in it, who’s actually worth $80 million! Maybe let's do an episode where the Muppets’ van crashes, and they’re brought to the Grey-Sloan ER. Or what if Dr. Bailey met Dr. Strange at a conference and gives him one of her famous speeches? We could see those Station 19 hotties respond to the next alien attack in a Marvel movie? What the hell, let’s confirm Meredith is force sensitive- she already sees ghosts!
Or start small and finally do what so many ABC shows have done before: the Disneyland episode. Black-ish, Full House, Modern Family. Are you even on ABC if your cast doesn’t find a reason to take a trip to Disney? Why has this taken so long for Grey’s? Because Disney doesn’t want the show about death and disaster associated with their rollercoasters? Too bad!
I’m going to flex my Greys-fanfiction-but-not-fanfiction muscles here. The premise could be that the board certification test is in Anaheim, California this year. The A-plot is the current crop of residents (who I like!) are studying for their exam while the surgeons who flew in to be exam proctors have a day off at Disneyland. Grey’s loves freak accidents and doing surgery in the field. Let’s say someone slips out of their seat on the Tower of Terror and smacks against the ceiling, causing some gruesome injury. Good thing Meredith and Bailey were on the ride too! They move into action and have to be creative like use a lightsaber as a splint or operate while the tower is still going up and down. Since their kids are also there, maybe child genius Zola has to assist! In the C-plot, sky's the limit. In line for Space Mountain, Richard saves someone who’s swallowed a turkey leg. Amelia and Kai get caught boning on It’s a Small World. Jo and Link are stuck in the Haunted Mansion, and someone goes into labor, and they have to deliver the baby surrounded by animatronics. How this will actually carry out the function of the Disneyland episode- to be an ad for Disneyland- I’m not sure. We’ll see our terminally stressed doctors finally unwind outside of an on-call room, I guess. Maybe Meredith can say something like, “Wow, Soarin’ Over California made me forget all my plane-releated trauma.” After 19 seasons, I trust the writers to figure it out. As Walt Disney said, if you can dream it, you can do it.
good reads
Vulture | Casey McQuiston Is Trojan-Horsing Trans Romance by Kathryn VanArendonk
“I am writing for trans people — capital-F For,” McQuiston says.
The New Yorker | Lena Dunham’s Change of Pace by Rachel Syme
I was going on vacations with my best friend Russell, who is an acupuncturist in Los Angeles, which I still do three times a year. And part of the reason that I have the right husband for me is because he has no problem with me needing to do that. Part of my personal reset is that I need to go on a private trip with a worldly homosexual man three times a year, or I won’t be the person he loves. And he’s O.K. with that.
The Cut | Looking for the Woman Who Made Us by Casey Kahn
Rounded eyebrows and big square teeth. I couldn’t make out all the specifics of her features, but in that moment I had a glimmer of understanding of what it must be like to grow up with a family member who looks like you, and to take it for granted; to not obsess over details of familial resemblance but simply recognize your own essence in the face, body, and presence of another person, without effort or thought.
SEEN/READ
07/26 THE OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY
07/27 The Iliad, My Brilliant Friend, OCEAN’S ELEVEN
07/28 The Iliad, My Brilliant Friend, HIGH FLYING BIRD, CLOSER
07/29 The Iliad, GREYS ANATOMY, LITTLE WOMEN
07/30 My Brilliant Friend,Who Do You Serve, Who Do You Protect?, GREYS ANATOMY
07/31 YOUNG ROYALS
08/01 The Iliad, Romancing Mr. Bridgerton, THE INCREDIBLY TRUE ADVENTURE OF TWO GIRLS IN LOVE
and a parting message from our sponsors
please look at how caterina scorsone says “in a very jedi way”